Thursday, 31 August 2017

Weavers - Carers for Carers

My Husband was diagnosed with Stage 1 lung cancer in mid-2013. In 2015 he was diagnosed with Stage 4 brain cancer. It has been one helluva ride and, while I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone, we have grown closer and have deepened in our relationship. Being a Lover and Wife is challenging when you are also a Provider and Carer. This is why I sought help.

We moved from Newcastle to Adelaide in January 2015. We had never lived in South Australia before, so most of our 'friends' were work-related. When Terry was diagnosed again, I knew I needed some contacts who were not work-related. I looked at possibilities for Support Groups, but most of those were for the person with Cancer, less was around for the Carers.

I found Weavers online. This is my story.

I went through a process to find the right person.

Having a Weaver as a Carer enabled me to be cared for myself. It didn't place huge obligations on me, but gave me the opportunity to be supported.

Different Carers need different things from the people who care for them. Other people need information or someone to reflect with. Sometimes I just needed to be reassured that what I thought I knew was reasonably sound. With the stress of caring, you start to question yourself, because you know you can't control the situation. Being able to reflect with someone (who had good active listening training) meant being able to check in with someone who was not being emotive.

When I talk to many of my friends, they are also having to come to terms with their love and grief or confusion about our situation. When I talk with work colleagues, they obviously think about how this may impact on our shared work. With a Weaver, there are no other vested interests other than just supporting me. It helped. It helped to keep me sane, on-track and strong.

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