Evocations in Grief - My Personal Loss

I should explain.
My beloved husband, Terry, died on December 10, 2019. He had over six years of lung cancer and five years of brain cancer. In his final months, he also had bladder cancer and kidney stones. He faced the whole experience with courage and grace.


I did not set out to write these. They started to pour out with tears as I recollected the sharings of those who have walked the grief path ahead of me.
I have found wonderful examples and friendship from among broken-hearted saints who have shared something of their complex thinking.
These reflections are for me, but they are published in the knowledge that the sharing of others is even now helping me. I am particularly grateful to my dear friend, Tony Floyd, whose own sharing in bereavement is woven into this experience. He has a blog and reflections that have a number of pieces in conversation with these ones.

1   A Blue Christmas
2   Smoke
3   Leave Me Alone
4   Gratitude
5   Selfish compassion
6   Close
7   Homeless
8   Pungent Memory
9   Absent Joy
10  The Art of Painting Smiles
11  Collage
12  The Llama and the Rabbit
13  Blue (Part 1)
14  Blue (Part 2)
15  Blue (Part 3)
16  Breathe
17  Blue - Last year
18  Llama - the Camel’s Hippie Cousin
19  Silence and Prayer
20  Chaplain’s Greeting
21  Blessing Furniture
22  The Cure of Play
23  Words and Phrases
24  To Ravel
25  Conventionality Dismissed
26  Lovesong
27  The Magnet Effect
28  Of all the gin joints
29  Meditation for the Day After
30  Sorrow
31  Another Life, a parallel universe
32. Widowing
33  The Silence of Grief
34  The Sacrament of Friendship
35  Wrapped
36  Hanging with Evangelicals
37  Authenticity
38  Mealtime
39  Early Hours
40  Beyond Breath

Initially, I had wondered if these posts would be for a week or a month or forty days. Now, I wonder if they might take 100 days of mourning, as observed by my Fijian family. Who knows? The images and thoughts keep coming. I have been joined by two others who are also writing. They have prompted me to go deeper and say I do the same for them. Between us, we gentle each other in our sad and sacred work. We name the holy and recognize the God of Life also took the time to be the One of Sorrows... so, for the moment, on it goes...

41  Missing Gold
42  How do I love you
43  Voice 
44  Holy Days

I have done the prep, now I start getting into the deep work...

45  Meeting
46  Groupinar 
47  Beatitude of Death - Part 1
48  Beatitude of Death - Part 2
49  Beatitude of Death - Part 3
50  Foolishness
51  Prophet

The following were written as I journeyed back to Adelaide, home of some of the most intense period of our shared story. We lived there for three years when Terry succumbed to brain cancer. This trip was for the Fijian National conference, so I went with members of my congregation, but I also saw many dear friends and went to places we held dear.

52  Young People
53  Haunts
54  Changes to His Story
55  Denial
56  Coffylosophy Blessing

Back in Sydney/Parramatta and back to work at Western Sydney Uni...
57  Condolence
58  Food and Feasts
59  Tonight
60  Waiting
61  Hospital Visit
62  Anniversaries
63  Honorary Queer and Honouring Stories
64  Hold on
65  Separation
66  Heaven
67  Again and Again
68  Definitions
69  Present
70  I’m ok
71  Forgive Me - a personal psalm
72  It’s not my problem

The last weeks have seen intense grief, shared around the whole world.
It’s fitting to journey the Easter story.
73  Easter Saturday

74  Countless

I took an extended break from blogging. Then I took a retreat as part of my Annual Leave.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for visiting, I look forward to hearing from you.
When making a comment, please remember this is a site frequented by young people and those who may not be up with your jargon.