Evocation #63 Honorary queer and honouring stories

When I was invited to offer culturally diverse bible studies for a ‘Daring’ Conference in Melbourne, Terry came with me and we were granted the titles of ‘honorary queer’. This was both respectful and humbling.

About 9 weeks after Terry’s death, I accompanied a friend to go to a performance of Queer Stories at the Riverside Theatre. There was a moment when I observed one of the members of the audience. She was young and had a beautiful blue Mohawk. My friend grabbed my hand and held it tightly.


Friendship moved swiftly into pastoral rescue.
My friend understood.
My heart had stopped and my breathing was shallow.
I could not think.
I was frozen in a moment of eternity/
My friend squeezed my hand,
Grounding me in this time and place,
not letting me escape into oblivion.
I delighted in her youth and my perception of her innocence.
Yet, if she was at this performance,
she probably already had too much life experience,
tucked away into her soul.
In some ways, she carried his confidence...
So few people can really wear a bright blue Mohawk!
I miss his confidence,
his embrace of life and daily wisdom.
I miss his engagement with complete strangers,
The way he would strike up conversations of significance,
life-changing conversations, influential moments,
likely to impact the directions of the world.
I realise that in my heart,
I believe he was God’s agent -
responsible for spinning the world
and contributing energy and life to others.
I know God has other agents.
Indeed, there is a great long list of characters,
People of spirit and purpose...
He joins them in the great cloud of witnesses.
We rest upon the heritage they have given to us.
So my present relies on the past.

Whenever I see blue hair
and whenever someone comments on mine,
I recollect how he would respond
And engage in interactions for life.

© A A Koh-Butler, 2020