As you lost words,
we developed other ways of communicating.
A return to an intimacy of earlier times?
No - a new dimension to touch and understanding?
We shared a different language - one of our own,
hard for others to follow or comprehend.
We made mistakes,
sometimes with laughter,
sometimes with groans and shouts of frustration,
often forgetting what we’d even been trying to say.
Your head cradled at my breast.
Mine held close, listening to the rhythm of your heart.
Communication is, after all,
a sharing of knowledge or secrets
or a way of being
- Way, Truth, Life?
In the first days after separation,
I found myself not-talking like you,
to my surprise.
I stumbled and stuttered,
unable to form coherence
in the foreign language of others.
As I relearn to speak,
I now find myself in phrases,
trying to capture stories from photos.
I learn to tell myself the stories of our past,
to share with anyone who will listen,
not because I wish to share pain,
but because we would share
our joy and hope and love
of shared existence
Of community found in another soul.
Today, words and phrases are testimony
to the vows of covenant.
Yet, wordlessness took us into new games
and now the rooms are silent...
Save for your playlist.
(C) A A Koh-Butler, 2020
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