Usually it creeps up
unannounced, yet expected,
the wracking sobs and gasps
of defiance dancing with despair.
Belly and face tighten,
the frown crosses my forehead
as the tears travel up in my body
to escape, running away
from the pain of life’s ending.
I catch a sigh-breath
reminding my body I am here.
The gasps echo those of his last days,
Breaths of body’s betrayal
and spirit’s farewell,
transitioning imaginations.
I so willed those breaths to end
even as the groans of grief escape my lungs
and I long still, not for the breaths of pain,
but for the air carrying
the whispered ‘I love you’.
He has breathed his last,
so I move to places
beyond breath.
(C) A A Koh-Butler, 2020
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