Dining on green curry and sharing stories,
receiving the generosity and comfort of true friends,
An interruption of smiles and greetings
- students whose beaming faces betray an innocent joy in life.
I greet them, conjuring warmth and enthusiasm
for they are lovely and genuine.
So many good and lovely people!
I am surrounded by the best of community.
How is it then to feel lost?
I know in my mind about the insidious nature of grief -
all consuming -
redirecting simple thoughts
and turning them into existential debates.
Such conversations are not helpful now.
They wage war within my soul,
yet to give them voice
prevents my ready and willing present self
from enjoying the ministrations, or even greetings, of others.
I gently tell the innocent of death
within the context of gratitude for life.
My smile is real, for I know when I leave
they will have some of the discussion
of life and death and meaning.
He liked being the Chaplain’s husband.
(C) A A Koh-Butler, 2020
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