Waking up,
the tears stream into the already damp shawl.
I’m sorry, I whisper, I’m sorry.
I repeat the words,
forcing them to be true.
Even as you reflect them back to me,
I’m sorry... so sorry.
I know we have forgiven,
nevertheless I cannot unremember.
It was the blessing for you -
unremembering -
remembering only love.
Remembering jumble and fall onto the floor,
Like toys escaping a cupboard in a nursery.
Tidiness is only ever a pretense at temporary order,
For chaos is the more natural state
of affair.
Yes - I love you,
despite your betrayal
at not being here.
I try to hold my heart
so it doesn’t drop onto the floor too
causing my eyes leak to some more.
Ah, chaos and sorrow,
you dance a slow dance,
to soulful music of
constant beat and sighing melodies.
We hum along, whispering again
I’m sorry... I’m sorry.
(C) A A Koh-Butler, 2020
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