I can’t breathe...
It’s not Covid-19.
It’s grief.
Every time I try to take a breath,
my body responds with the deep sob and groan that racks my soul.
Today the absence is in every step and every glance
Or lack thereof.
He filled my world, leaving me without reference points today.
I go through the motions of daily activity - wondering why bother?
What is so important anymore?
I cannot even lay his body to final rest.
Regulations and social distancing, the quarantine of Sabbath rest,
Prevents the intimate, even the private goodbye.
People are dying and being buried without ceremony, without rites,
as if humanity is taking a holiday in our quest for isolated living.
I am not complaining - the sacrifice is shared -
But it is not easy and I will not pretend it is so.
How dare the sun shine again after the darkness of the hour of death?
Does not eternity continue to despair?
Is not the very fabric of creation torn like a curtain?
What will tomorrow bring? Who cares?
For now, I cannot breathe.
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